| Author | Message | ||
| Hari Kumar
New member Username: hari Post Number: 12 Registered: 10-2005 |
The Two Towers There is a leaning tower in Mosul, not as famous as the one in Pisa, nor as rich, but older by a year and so- like elder brothers-taller. Mudfleshed of the same mother, bent like a stalk of wheat caught in the wind. And when the muezzin calls out to the faithful, the minaret would whisper soft salaams that would get caught by the dry breath of the Shamal and carried by the clouds over the Mediterranean to be delivered to his Christian brother. And in joy, this Christian brother would reply through the peal of his bells, carried by the skin of their mother. Through the centuries, the brothers conversed thus; in the language of the wind and the rain, and the tolling bells, while standing bowed, in mutual respect, like old men. And like old men, they talked of their children who grew of the mud around them, prospered, built palaces, sprouted wings... But now the Shamal is strained by the wail of the elder as blood soaks his feet, and the younger hangs his head in shame. ************ (1) Mosul - a place in Northern Iraq. It is one of the three major cities of the country; the other two being Baghdad and Basra. The tower of Mosul, which forms part of Nurid Mosque, was built in 1172. A year later, the construction of the tower of Pisa began. (2) Shamal - dry winds that sweep across Iraq, Jordan, Kuwait in a north-westerly direction. (Message edited by hari on October 21, 2005) My personal website-www.harismind.com My blog | ||
| Lazarus
Member Username: lazarus Post Number: 78 Registered: 10-2005 |
This is beautifully written and you have made an important point. However, I personally would like to see a moment before the last stanza when the distance between these two becomes a hindrance to peace. In other words, something goes wrong; the distance is no longer a protection. Otherwise it's just a very sad commentary on what we already know is very sad. | ||
| Zephyr
Senior Member Username: zephyr Post Number: 2932 Registered: 07-2003 |
A wonderful read Hari,I know you were talking about Iraq but for some reason reading this transported me back to a year spent among the Arabs in Lybia in the sixties! Thank you. | ||
| Emusing
Moderator Username: emusing Post Number: 2017 Registered: 08-2003 |
Hari, a breathtaking piece. Especially evocative And when the muezzin calls out to the faithful, the minaret would whisper soft salaams that would get caught by the dry breath of the Shamal and carried by the clouds over the Mediterranean to be delivered to his Christian brother. I have always longed to hear the call of the muezzin. I know one day I will. I think we all know that the turn of the road has brought us away from the path of peace. I would suggest ending the poem before the last stanza prospered, built palaces, sprouted wings... This, the more hopeful and truthful image (for me). That makes this a poem a prayer for piece and for the lasting image of that vision. E | ||
| Gary Blankenship
Senior Member Username: garyb Post Number: 5282 Registered: 07-2001 |
Hari, a couple of thoughts. S1 could probably be a third to half and still be a good. Tis also a bit sentimental though that probably cannot be helped. It might end on wings, but if the last S keep, I would change shame to silence. Plenty of shame to go around. Good luck. Gary The Eye of the Coming Storm http://www.mindfirerenew.com/ | ||
| LJ Cohen
Moderator Username: ljc Post Number: 3159 Registered: 07-2002 |
Hari--a very 'Rumi-like' feel in the cadence of this piece. I'm not sure I would recommend changing much here because of that echo. Welcome to wild. best, ljc http://ljcbluemuse.blogspot.com/ | ||
| Hari Kumar
New member Username: hari Post Number: 13 Registered: 10-2005 |
Thanks a lot Lazarus, Zephyr, Emusing, Gary & LJ. You've given me some very useful feedback. Regards, Hari My personal website-www.harismind.com My blog |
